A nightly prayer

Most nights, after I turn off the computer, after I turn of the TV and the lights, I roll over on to my side in bed and get ready to go to sleep by saying a prayer. I usually say an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be. After that I follow it up with a couple of personal requests like for the health and well being of my family and friends. I pray for wisdom. Then I say my “dark prayer.” I ask God for forgiveness that I must ask this favor of him but I desperately pray for someone to die...

I pray that Fidel Castro should die of a painful heart attack. My prayer morphs into a meditation as if I could cause this event to happen. I concentrate on it. I envision him alone in a plain bed. He’s wearing boxer shorts and a sleeveless camiseta. A ceiling fan spins on the ceiling. I envision his heart and the blood vessels that provide blood to it. I imagine myself clamping those vessels shut with my fingers. Sometimes I just envision crushing his heart with my bare hands. I envision him opening his eyes in panic as he realizes that he’s going to die. Suddenly he sees the faces of all those that sufferd because of him. He begins to hear the howls coming from hell. He realizes that he, in fact, is not God. That he’s about to answer to God. It’s times like these that I hope God is the God of the old testament. The one who has no problem being angry. The one that punishes. I pray for this until I fall asleep, a deep peaceful sleep.