Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Cuba Nostalgia, Ana Menendez Style - UPDATED

What if Ana Menendez were in charge of putting Cuba Nostalgia together? What would it be like? I have an idea of what she might do...

The cost of admission would be "free" but we'd all be paying for it through higher taxes.

There would be very little food at the event and you'd need a ration card to get any.

Instead of adopting dissidents, you'd get a chance to beat them as you recreate "acts of repudiation" as a member of the rapid response brigades.

Anyone that complains about the event would be detained at the "re-education" exhibit, this is one of the few exhibits that would have a corporate sponsor, Florida Power & Light would provide the juice for the electroshock "therapy" machines.

Other sponsored exhibits might include the Slave Labor Pavillion sponsored by any of the big Spanish Hoteliers.

Derrumbe, derrumbe! is the exhibit on Cuban architecture. At this exhibit you get to pick through the escombros or rubble looking for body parts.

Ana Menendez's favorite exhibit would of course be the Che Guevara kissing booth, where you get to kiss an actor dressed as the filthy killer, but you don't get to kiss him on the cheek or mouth you have to kiss his ass. But Ana Menendez is very comfortable with that.

There would be drawings of course, but not for merchandise. The "El Bombo" exhibit would give people a chance to GET OUT, but only after bribing the right people. Failing that you would need to swim across the shark infested moat that would surround the exhibition hall.

UPDATE: I've decided to make this post an interactive one. Since I know many of you have very creative ideas for the Ana Menendez version of Cuba Nostalgia.

First Robert suggests a Che Guevara booth. I had forgotten about that although I did have an idea for it, which I added after the initial post. The Guevara kissing booth.

Then Val suggests the "Paredon" exhibit. Instead of getting your picture taken in front of the Malecon, you can be "shot" in front of the paredon or execution wall,

He also says there must be separate ATM's for the Cubans and non-cubans. The Cubans get Monopoly money, while the non-cubans get greenbacks.

I just had another thought that would make the affair much more authentic. We could have a first aid stand, but it wouldn't be staffed because all the doctors would be off taking care of people at other conventions. There wouldn't be any medicines there either.

An exhibit to display antiques from the 60's that were taken from houses in Cuba when they were siezed during the revolution.

A replica of a "jail cell" from the revolution days.

A Playa Giron booth, where an Osmani Cienfuegos lookalike (red beret and all) can stuff over one hundred attendees into a sealed truck (like sardines in a can) for a long ride on US highway one until several of them die.

Vouchers for $5 in Venezuelan gasoline to all attendees courtesy of Citgo and Hugo Chavez

12 comments:

Robert said...

How about the "Che - 20th Century Icon" booth?

Val Prieto said...

Oh, and let's not forget the "Paredo'n" exhibit. And of course, there simply must be separate ATM's for the Cubans and non-cubans. The Cubans get Monopoly money, while the non-cubans get greenbacks.

And all Cubans must check their cell phones at the door.

Henry "Conductor" Gomez said...

To the person that submitted a comment anonymously to this thread:

Ana Menendez wrote a book called "Loving Che"

It's a novel and I admit I haven't read it. But it's title and her disdain for our t-shirts without condemnation of the multitudes of the hordes of Korda image wearing idiots tells me all I need to know.

And just because I didn't publish your comment immediately doesn't mean I'm censoring it. But now that you mention it Zap, there it goes. Right in the garbage bin. Why? because I'm not Oscar Corral and I'm not going to have "food fights" on this blog. Publish your own blog. It's a free country.

FREEDOM4CUBA said...

I have an idea for a Cuba Nostalgia exhibit. How about having an exhibit to display antiques from the 60's that were taken from houses in Cuba when they were siezed during the revolution? Also, don't forget to have a replica of a "jail cell" during the revolution days.

Marc said...

Also, Hugo Chavez provides vouchers for $5 in Venezuelan gasoline to all attendees.

Anonymous said...

How about a VICTORIA DE PLAYA GIRON booth, where an Osmani Cienfuegos lookalike (red beret and all) would stuff over one hundred attendees into a sealed truck (like sardines in a can) for a long ride on US highway one!----(and why can't I sign into this blog? Omar)

ziva said...

I haven't read the book either. Would you want to read a book titled loving Hitler? A few minutes of searching turned up plenty of interviews confirming the thoughts behind the title. Like this one from :
http://www.latinamericanstudies.org/exile/ana-menendez.htm

I think this speaks for itself.

The Che who inhabits Menéndez's novel will surprise some readers. He's not the iconic revolutionary emblazoned on leftist posters since the '60s. He'd rather make
love than make war. Gentleness, humor and personal magnetism transform him from guerrilla fighter into an irresistible Prince Charming.
These are some of the same qualities, one can't help noticing, that Fidel himself has employed to seduce his own countrymen. Since he's not been martyred, like Che,
it's easier in his case to pay attention to the brutality of his prisons and firing squads.
Teresa's memoir shuts its eyes to this bloody version of events. It seems to avoid politics in favor of love's fire. Yet neither does it condemn the regime. So
Menéndez makes us question the narrator's reliability.
"What is Cuba?" Menéndez asks me, rhetorically. "Is it the way that it's been described by the nostalgic exiles? Is it the way it's been described by the nostalgic
revolutionaries within Cuba?

Che's Dead - Let's Dance said...

No, no, no. Maybe that version of the Nostajia conference can have a booth featuring people trying to squeeze into camel buses on their way to a speech at the Revolution Plaza.

Alfredo said...

how about the $900 million dolar booth! You come into the booth with money and you come out with nothing but your shirt on. The booth would have the dictator dressed as a pimp with a fist full of dollars.
or..

The Oil Pimp booth with Hugo Chavez and friends...

Apartheid booth: No Cubans allowed

MSM booth, but no anti-dictator news

Conchita said...

HA HA HA HA

I love this!

Keep it coming everybody.

I bet that Fidel is sitting at home reading this and having another heart attack he is so stupid

Focsa Frank said...

I think that a special booth for Maxine Waters and Frank Mertha where everyone can get free screenings of Oliver Stone's Commandante and then Searching for Fidel would be a great idea.

Orlando said...

I may be late to the party, but how about "make a cola" booth. A line of people that leads to an empty booth, nothing to buy while holding ration cards in their hands. Or how about the "resolver" booth. Everyone gets an empty bag and walks around aimlessly, a resolver.