Hugo Has a White House Informant

Greetings to all of you infidels. As can be expected, El Burro de Caracas has once again given me great material to present to you. The Associated Press reports that Hugo claims to have a mole in the White House who's been tipping him off about Bush's plan to whack him. I've been going nuts trying to figure out who the mole could be. Obviously, it would have to be someone with high security clearance. While you read the article, I will give you the results of my investigation:

CARACAS, Venezuela — Venezuela President Hugo Chavez said Sunday he has received warnings from within the White House that the Bush administration is plotting to assassinate him or topple his left-leaning government.

Citing what he said were warnings from an alleged White House informant, Chavez told thousands of supporters at a campaign rally that President Bush has ordered him to be killed before he leaves office in 2008.

Bush "has said that before he goes, Hugo Chavez shouldn't be the president of Venezuela," Chavez told the crowd. "The president of the United States has said it, especially in recent days. What he doesn't know is that I have friends in the White House."

The Venezuelan leader has claimed before that the U.S. government is out to kill him _ allegations that U.S. officials deny. The latest accusation came a day after he alleged that there had been a recent attempt to assassinate him and said those responsible had since fled to neighboring Colombia. Chavez appeared to link the alleged plot to his main rival in upcoming presidential elections, Gov. Manuel Rosales of Zulia state, claiming that he is in constant danger from opponents seeking to get rid of him.

He said a sniper had waited with a long-range gun and planned to shoot him after he debarked a helicopter, he said. He did not elaborate further on the alleged plot. Chavez vowed to win the Dec. 3 vote and continue governing this South American nation until 2021. "Fourteen more years, that's what's coming," Chavez said.

Read the Rest of the article HERE.

Well infidels. Hugo is once again confused. As evidenced by his remarks in New York a few weeks ago that we would have liked to have met Noam Chomsky before he died (Mr. Chomsky is still alive), my sources in Caracas have advised me that Mr. Chavez' purported mole is none other than former attorney general, Ramsey Clark, who served in the Lyndon Johnson Administration. So technically speaking, El Burro's claim is correct, albeit off by some 40 years.

Chavez' Mole: Ramsey Clark