Wednesday, October 11, 2006

We're Doomed!


Fellow infidels, we frequently ask ourselves how there can be so many idiots out there that support burros like Chavez, and murderers like Castro and Che. I've theorized that it's drugs. I think that if we took a poll of those who support el burro and el tyranno, chances are that more than 70% of them will admit to using drugs or to having done massive drugs at one point. There's no logic otherwise. The remaining percentage of those folks who are not on drugs or who are not suffering the aftereffects of drug use on the brain, are simply abysmally ignorant idiots. One such group of idiots and without a doubt druggies is PETA. When I read this, I thought it was a skit from The Onion. But it is not. People this stupid really exist. Hence, we're doomed. Damn the Torpedoes. Stock up on cigars and whiskey and run off to the hills.

The competition to beat the world cockroach eating record is
being held Friday at a Six Flags park in Gurnee, Illinois. Anyone who beats the
record will win a season pass for four people for 2007 with VIP queue-jumping
status.

Competitors will try to break the current world record,
which is held by Ken Edwards of Derbyshire, England, who devoured 36 Madagascar
hissing cockroaches in one minute in 2001.

However Six Flags spokesman James Taylor said the only
complaints the company had received were from people who did not have the
opportunity to sign up and eat a cockroach because only 12 of its 30 parks in
the United States, Canada, and Mexico were participating in the promotion.

Taylor dismissed any health concerns, saying the
cockroaches were raised in a sterile environment and were as safe to eat as
shrimp or lobster with high nutritional value.

Madagascar hissing cockroaches are large, wingless
cockroaches that can grow to between 1.5 to 3 inches.

Taylor said no one who had indulged in this rare delicacy
had complained.

"It's something that's supposed to be scary, it's icky,
it's gross, it's Halloween fun and it's just one small part of the haunted
houses and thrilling rides going on."

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These folks make the folks at the UN look unbiased, intelligent, and reasonable. Oy vay!

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